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What's the difference between a free dating website and a paid dating website?

Under most circumstances they're pretty much the same. While most paid dating websites have many more members than a free dating site, there are several free dating sites that have millions of members.

Why do some dating websites say free when they're really not?

Most of the websites that claim to be free that really aren't  normally offer a free trial, free registration, or free limited access. The best way to spot out these websites is to search for the terms "totally free" or "100% free". If it doesn't say this anywhere on the site chance are the dating site really isn't free.